• Author:taratom
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Sugar = Emotional Emptiness

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Days before my “I quit Sugar” detox begins I thought to myself….hmmm since I’m not going to be able to have sugar anymore, I should indulge and eat all the sweets I really want to….NOW! If I do this, I won’t be left with that feeling like I have missed out on something delicious. And so the plethora of thoughts began. What should I have ???? The freedom to choose and there is nothing holding me back. How liberating, right?!!! Not so sure about that.

Milk tea was the first pick since I was on a quest for it this entire past weekend. But then I thought, maybe a Ghirardelli single scoop dark fudge sundae, since it will be my last one for awhile. Both so delicious and equally rewarding.

My mind is now acting like a google search engine.  Searching for the pros and cons of each dessert trying to create a simplified list so that I am able to make my decision. Let’s go over some of these thoughts that my brain has compiled after gathering all past information about these deserts and all its emotional support that went with it.

Milk Tea it’s satisfying and delicious, but, I’m just drinking my dessert. If I choose the sundae I actually go through a physical motion of scooping spoons filled with creamy ice cream & dripping hot dark fudge. But, if I get the milk tea I can sip on it, make it last longer and is probably way less in calories than the sundae.  These thoughts continue in my head like a political debate during the month of November.

After much long thought the sundae won the election with votes in confidence that this will be the best tasting, most emotionally satisfying, and gratifying desert. So I walk to the ice cream parlor, delighted with my choice and feeling like a person who just went on a successful first date. I get to the front of the ice cream parlor, step through the doors, make a B line to the cashier and order the most delicious thing the world.
With a smile from ear to ear, I grab my number and find a seat and for this glorious event that is about to happen.  Oh I can’t wait to have it and take that first bite! Not much longer I’m startled by a gentleman loudly stating “Single scoop dark fudge sundae”. I raised my hand and reply with an overly excited thank you.

This is it, the moment that took so much energy. It was like I was planning the dinner for my wedding. Here it is the first scoop, the wait is now over!

As I indulge in this sundae like I haven’t eaten in months I am stopped by these annoying thoughts.  They start alerting me like text messages you get from guy you no longer want to date. As I start to process these thoughts my mind comes to a screeching halt! Wait!???!!  Where is that feeling that I’ve been waiting for? You know the one like you see in the movies when the girl meets her true love and gets kissed for the first time. Where are the fireworks? Where is the music? All of the anticipation for….. WHAT??!!!

Omg!!!! I’m like a drug addict chasing their high. At this very moment I have now realized how emotionally attached I am to sugar. All this time I was aware of my addiction but this was a real slap in the face for me.

I am left with feeling emotionally empty, a stomach filled with a ton of empty calories and now this empty glass bowl. It was just a sundae, nothing more than that. This hype, this anticipation and the build up of emotions was all created in my head.

I can officially admit and say “My name is Tara Tom and I am a SUGAR ADDICT”

………Welcome to my sugar detox journey!

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